Life with three teenagers is never dull. Never. We have daily drama, mostly with the girl, but the boys contribute their share. Some parenting issues aren't issues at all; just do your job. If they are sick, take them to the doctor; if they are bleeding, fix it; teach them not to hit, bite, lie, cheat, and steal. Other issues are more complex.
I was raised going to church and Sunday school. I went, and I still go. However, I have serious problems with organized religion. If it weren't for my mom and grandparents, I doubt that I would attend church. I believe in God, but I don't believe that many of the strictures of religion are necessary. Beyond that, I believe they are wrong. I hypocritically sit in an adult Sunday school class most weeks listening to people rail against swearing, drinking, homosexuality, media, and all things left. I do not now nor have I ever enjoyed being told how to think and feel. Do I swear? Shit, yes I do! Do I drink? When I feel like it. Do I drink and drive? Of course not. That's dumb and could hurt other people. Do I believe homosexuality is a sin? Absolutely not. Furthermore, I don't believe it is a choice. Do I watch TV? Yes, and I enjoy it. I don't watch Fox News, though. Is it my right to decide what happens with my body? It better be.
Much to the chagrin of many people in my life, I have never sheltered my children. When they had questions, I answered them, regardless of the subject matter. They have known the truth about sex for a long time. My daughter knows that I would much rather she tell me needs to be on the pill than that she is pregnant. My sons know that if a girl tells them no, they have to stop and if they don't, it's rape. I was relieved when my kids found out about Santa. I have let them watch PG-13 and R movies since they were in upper elementary school. One of my aunts refers to me as a bohemian. I have also, as a result of my own obligation to church and family, taken them to church.
This weekend, my daughter was told at a church/youth convention that God made guys to react and be attracted to people of the opposite sex, so when girls dress in any way but the most modest, they are promoting promiscuity and, in essence, "asking for it." My parental pride comes from her response to these ludicrous statements. She was furiously indignant, just as I hoped she would be. She needed me to back her up, but she was mad. I've told her that no boy has the right to touch her, even if she prances around nearly naked. It's not that I necessarily want her to dress seductively, but she has the right to wear what she chooses. Saying boys react because that's how they are made is ridiculous. Yes, they may be attracted, but no, they do not have the right to act on that attraction. I have yet to hear a boy's choice in clothing blamed for a girl flirting with him.
Parenting is a crap shoot, really. I don't know if I do the right things much of the time. I have screwed up my share with these kids. There are, however, two things in this world of which I am absolutely certain: I love these three kids more than anything in the world. I don't think that makes me any different from most parents. Secondly, I love the people they are becoming. They are growing up and growing into people I want for friends. Maybe in that way I am different from some parents of teenagers.
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